Essentially what the title is saying. I don't understand xenogenders. Also, I apologize in advance if anything in this post is offensive in some way- I'm not trying to start any kind of argument, but I am trying to get an explanation from someone maybe more familiar with this than I am.
I've seen xenogenders described as your gender feeling a specific way, for example 'stargender' being that you feel connected to the stars, and 'cloudgender' being connected to the clouds, and 'felinegender' feeling like a cat, and I... am very confused, to say the least. How can your gender feel like any of these things? How can your gender be 'like a star'? I've seen one of these xenogenders saying that it's like "a candle in the darkness; you may see the silhouettes and implications of your gender from the gentle moonlight, but are 'illuminated' only when you confront those feelings or aspects of yourself." What? That sounds like some nice poetry, but I don't understand how it's a gender? What is this even supposed to mean?
In my experience, most of these xenogenders come from Tumblr, and... I'm very, truly, genuinely sorry if this is offensive, but it really comes off to me like someone attention seeking. Stargender especially- this wiki describes it as a gender with at least three different meanings:
Identifying one's gender as a star. Subgenders also exist. For example, a person might identify emself as a blue star, therefore being an O-stargender or B-stargender. If ey identify as a star radiating longer wavelengths, A-stargender, F-stargender or G-stargender are more accurate terms. In addition, a starperson might self-identify as a binary or multiple star system. Fore example, a person self-identified as a binary yellow-orange system with a lonely red dwarf is a GKM-stargender, like the Alpha Centauri system. Under this definition this is a otherkin indenity not a gender one.
The second is “an other-worldly/non-human gender” which is likened to being beyond comprehension.
The third is “no matter how many genders are discovered/coined, none would match for the person.”
Literally none of this makes sense to me? What? How do you "self-identify as a binary or multiple star system?" What is an "otherkin identity?" How do you identify as a star? This genuinely makes absolutely no sense to me at all. I'm assuming this isn't some kind of joke?
Basically, what I'm trying to ask is this: What is a xenogender? How does it work? How does your gender "feel" like something? Gender is just... a part of you. The same way your sexuality is a part of you. I've seen a shockingly high amount of these xenogenders that all essentially say exactly the same thing: "Your gender changes to mirror whoever you're around." That's... that's not how gender works, though. Your gender is a part of YOU! It shouldn't change based on whoever you're around!
Can someone who experiences these kinds of things help me understand? I'm genuinely confused and I've come here to broaden my horizons, as a trans FTM person (though if I absolutely had to put a label on my identity, I would call myself a demiboy- it's easier to say trans, however.) Once again, I am so, so so so sorry if this post is offensive to people. I'm just trying to understand what a xenogender is and how it works, since this is a part of the community that just baffles me.