Hey everyone, I hope you are having a wonderful day. So I have come here to ask you, as well as come for your advice, about some things that are part/related to this magical part of live call ✨figuring out my/our identity✨. As I have seen, it seems to be very complicated and chaotic than I thought it would be so I come in peace for you all to help me (like plz I need your help, I am desperate hahaha🙁).
First of all. Questions.
How do I figure out my gender/identity? I have done test and though about who I wanted to be but I can't figure out because I am always changing my mind.
How to difference between trans, genderfluid, bigender and non-binary?
What are some signs that may tell you that you might be trans?
How can I make people treat me as myself and not only focus on how I express?
And that's it for the questions. Tips & other stuff would be welcome :)
Second. Help, presenting myself (and the problem) by bullet points because I am too lazy to right it with coherence.
AFAB. Uses They/she pronouns, but I am more comfortable if they call me by my name.
I did a couple of tests (+100?) and this are supposedly my gender identities (not in order): genderfluid/genderqueer, bigender, trans, female to male crossdresser and non-binary.
The way I dress is not girly at all its more like an androgenous style (I guess). I asked my mother how I dressed as a kid and she told me that really boy-ish and I barely wore dresses/skirts. I was more of a leggings and comfortable clothes person.
I wanna take a glance into the future to see who I am going to be. There is a fear I have that is that I am scared to realize I am trans when I am old, and I have nothing left to do/live for.
I am a female yes but sometimes I hate it, there has been time that I wanted to rip out my lower part because I found it disturbing. And that was when I wished I had male genitalia or other stuff so I wouldn't think about that.
I wish I had two bodies so I could switch whenever I wanted. Or at least I wished for me to have a period of time where I was a boy (I have dreams where there was a day when everyone changed of gender so Females are Males and viceversa)
I sometimes find my gender useful for what I am wearing and other not. (I have a tiny bit of problems with my body since I was little)
And finally, I don't wanna be trans because I am scared I will regret later on in life and I will be seen as fake or just wanting attention.