I need help. I used to be a member of this wiki, and was helpful in answering many other questions like this. I have been questioning my gender for around 3 years. I was pretty sheltered from LGBTQ things until someone at school was openly bi.
Every identity I've ever felt like has faded away. I thought I was genderfluid at first, but it faded. I tried demigirl. It faded. I tried transmasculine, it faded. I now feel non-binary, but I know it will fade. Is this just a phase? I don't know. It likely is. I already am pan, if that helps, and my sexuality has never faded, even though it fluctuates.
The shortest one was demigirl, only because I never felt girl. Even genderfluid, I never was girl. I hate my curves and my breasts, and wish I had a masculine body.
I have short hair, and would like to keep it that way, because I hate longer hair and people assume I'm a girl with long hair because of my face, voice and body.
I go by He/They/Ze if I can, but I can't at home. I had come out as trans to my mom, who told me I was making the wrong choice, and that being a masculine girl was fine, and at the time I felt 100% male, but now I don't, and feel like a faker because of it.
All I really know is I've never felt girl, and that everything fades. I wish I were normal and had an identity that fits. My chosen name is Eliott, and I chose it before the whole Eliott Page thing.
I don't want to tell anyone, because the last time I did I was wrong. My connection to Non-Binary is really strong, just like before. I would describe my gender as a light, greyish-green blue with yellow and black flecks. I know that sounds dumb, but I can't find a word for the thing I am.
Thank you for bothering to read this, and an even bigger thanks to you if you help. I likely won't respond because this is a throwaway.