Using a throwaway because this is kinda stupid.
In my class, I joke about a certain person on youtube (Etho's Lab - https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCFKDEp9si4RmHFWJW1vYsMA) because you can read his name as "Etho Slab" which I find funny at least. Some of my friends know who he is, some don't. They'll call me Etho Slab because of this. Either way, in a certain thing for class, my name wasn't written as my deadname, it was written "Etho" and I felt real euphoria for the first time in ages. I have two problems with this.
The first is that I am not out, not that this has any chance of outing me, however my preferred name is Eli (EE-Lie) or Elijah (EE-Lie-jah) which I get is similar to Etho, but makes me wonder if I should go by Etho if it makes me so happy. I had played with the idea but was never called Etho due to not being out (I have also never been called Eli/Elijah before). This leads into my second problem.
I feel like I'm stealing the name, or somehow disrespecting the original Etho by having this name. It's like I'm harming Etho's reputation for me, a trans guy, to take his name. It would also be weird because I have my own youtube channel, with a name in no way related to Etho, but wouldn't it be odd if you found out that Pewdiepie's real name was like, Dream, for example (I know his real name is not Dream). I am nowhere near even decently popular, just it bothers me.
Other than that I have no objections to the name, since it fits my criteria of a masculine neutral-sounding name. Let me know if this is a problem, and I will likely not respond on here due to this being a throwaway.